My Birthday Proclamation

How I want to spend my life

Do you ever wonder what your life is really about? I am not talking about your overall beliefs about the meaning of life, necessarily. Rather, when you look at how you actually live, what you actually say and how you actually do what you do…how are you spending your life?

Photo by Jennifer Brungardt

Photo by Jennifer Brungardt

The other day I watched a movie that rocked me to the core and got me feeling what I was already thinking about my life-spending. In Still Alice, the main character is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I grieved as a brilliant 50-year-old Alice considered her future, forgot her family, grew anxious and lost her ability to interact with others. And I thought…

How much time do I really have left? The next fifty years are not promised to me. I turn 37 this week. What if I had thirteen years left to leave a legacy? How do I want to spend my life?

I can tell you how I don’t want to spend it.

  • I don’t want to spend my life protecting myself. I don’t want to hide or hold back for fear that I may not succeed or that someone might think negatively about me. I don’t want to restrain my love.
    • So I’m going to go for it. I’m going to step out and do something bold and brave. And then I’m going to do it again. I may fail and I may not be everyone’s favorite person, but I plan to learn and grow from it all. Because I want to love boldly.
  • I don’t want spend my life overwhelmed. I don’t want to shuffle stuff around and over-pack our schedule for fear that I might miss out on something or disappoint someone. I don’t want to act like I’m God and can handle it all.
    • So I’m going to simplify. I’m going to cut back on stuff and activities that turn into detours or stumbling blocks between us and our family purpose. I realize it will be a constant balancing act, but there will be less to balance. Because I want to think clearly.
  • I don’t want to spend my life running from feeling. I don’t want to distract myself with meaningless things so I don’t have to feel the intens
    ity of the meaningful things. I don’t want to numb my feelings or carelessly feed my emotions so they grow out of proportion. I don’t want to diminish or exaggerate feeling.

    • So I’m going to explore. I’m going to dig deep to uncover what I’m honestly feeling and why. I’m going to bring those real feelings to God and allow Him to turn them into power with His love. Because I want to live passionately.

That’s it. Those are three things I don’t want to spend my life on, and three things I do. These particular things have been on my mind for a while, but now I want to be clear: I want to love boldly, think clearly and live passionately.

How do you want to spend your life – your actual day-to-day life? What are you willing to do or give up to get there?

Go for it square



4 thoughts on “My Birthday Proclamation

  1. I love this Andrea! And I love “watching” you go for it. And I want the same things…to live authentically, to value margin, to be in touch with my feelings (but not controlled by them).

    And I want to express God.

    Lately I’ve been thinking about Larry’s quote “I believe that the best way to experience God is to express God.” And Luci Shaw saying “When the artist lives in the house of faith, her or his consciousness is suffused with and informed by Christian images, and when the imaginative intelligence is allowed freely to describe life experience, the images and words supplied and shaped by the artist will reflect Christian belief even when there is no overt effort or intention to do so.”

    I want my life to express God. I want to live with awareness and imagination, to give myself permission to slow down, permission to be contemplative, artistic and authentic in the face of all the voices that demand productivity and compliance.
    And to go so I have to give up my addiction to bring well thought of by others. I’m on the journey 🙂

    Thanks for writing

  2. Hey Lady, Merry anniversary of the day you first hatched upon the scene:) May you indeed be set free in/by our Maker/Redeemer to seize every day & savor each moment as you enter the next chapter of your story loving boldly, thinking clearly &
    living passionately!

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