Monthly Archives: July 2016

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This is how I learned to write a book

About 18 months ago I set out on the journey to write a book inspired by the movie Frozen. I saw the movie as a beautiful metaphor for my experience with my own struggle to release loving self-expression and I wanted others to have the opportunity to understand the imagery in the film like I did. I started blogging to practice writing, test my ideas, grow my audience and get the courage to share incredibly vulnerable aspects of my heart and experience. Then a year ago I started the actual writing process.

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Rosanne Gridley, editor of Unfrozen

I almost immediately knew who I wanted to ask to be my editor. I met Rosanne at a course with Dr. Larry Crabb in Colorado Springs in 2012, before seeing Frozen. She started a Facebook group for our class and over the course of time, we shared many deep and transformational discussions. I recognized Rosanne as a woman of great depth and honor with a heart longing to express the love of God. I also knew she was an excellent editor.

When I sent Rosanne my first draft at the beginning of September, she let me down gently and shared a metaphor. “Writing a book is like having a baby. It takes a lot of time for the message to fully form and be ready for birth.” I wanted so desperately to publish my book before Thanksgiving, 2015. But Rosanne kept encouraging me and coaching me through a long and grueling process of writing and re-writing this year.

She also came up with the title Unfrozen.

One pivotal moment around December stands out in my mind. I sent Rosanne draft number 3 and we talked about my struggle with the structure of the book. I was fighting the idea of completely changing the format from a reflective study about Frozen imagery to telling more of my own story. Then from the other end of the line, my friend said, “God has already written your story and it’s a great story! You just need to get it out on paper.” 

This book truly wouldn’t be what it is today had I rushed the process and not paid attention to the wisdom to press into my own fear and actually tell stories of my life that led me through the incredible transformation of my own frozen heart. From that point I was committed to sharing my story, the story God had already written.

Now, after 12 months of writing and 5 completely re-written drafts, this baby is about ready to be birthed. I can hardly believe it. And just like labor, I know that the next month or so will be an intense ebb and flow of getting the book out to the world.

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Designed by Janelle Reed

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Unfrozen Launch Team is closed. We look forward to sharing the book with you very soon!

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Thank you for being you. Thank you for reading these posts and for coming with me on this journey of vulnerably bold love that could truly change lives. You are brave and I look forward to getting to know you more as we interact even more in the days to come!

Inviting you to live unfrozen,

Andrea Joy

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Every Empathetic Leader Needs to Unplug From People

Those of us who are particularly sensitive or empathetic tend to feel the emotions of others. We not only have to contend with our own emotional experiences, but we literally feel what others feel. And sometimes we’re not sure of the distinction between our feelings and the feelings of others.

We see tears and our own eyes fill with tears. We see anger and something inside of us fires up. We see tension and something inside of us tightens up.

The empathetic leader internalizes the notion that relationships are a big responsibility.

What does it feel like when…

  • Your team pulls on you from every direction?
  • Children whine about the choice of food for supper?
  • Students walk in the door with their head down to their chest?
  • Colleagues knit-pick every decision other people make?
  • Your team bombards you with questions about the upcoming transition?

You may be completely capable of meeting each of these scenarios with grace and wisdom, but it doesn’t take long before they all add up and the needs of the people around you begin to feel overwhelming.

Quiet Time

Empathetic leaders need to unplug from people.We’ve all heard a lot about the importance of unplugging or disconnecting from social media, email and electronics, in general. It’s definitely important to give our bodies and minds a break from the barrage of media and information overload. Taking time away from these things helps us refresh and remember why we engage in these mediums in the first place.

But electronics are not the only thing we need to unplug from. We need to unplug from people, too. I call it Quiet Time. QT is a period of disconnection from emotional stimulation. It is a time when no one is pulling on you to meet their needs or give them attention. The amount of QT you need each day depends on you and your circumstances. You may have a limited window of opportunity for it and it may take some creativity to work it in.

Be proactive in planning your QT. Don’t wait for overwhelm to strike before you lash out at everyone to get them to leave you alone. Don’t wait until you’re about to crumble under the weight of the emotional storm around you. Plan ahead! Work QT into your daily routine and have a plan in place for a quick moment of down time in case you need it.

Here are some ways you can work QT into your daily routine:

  • Drive around for an extra 10 minutes after work. You will be more engaged and prepared to serve your family when you walk in the door if you are not feeling rushed and frazzled.
  • Take 15 minutes of your lunch time to sit or lay quietly with your eyes closed listening to calming music or praying with a calm heart. For added benefit, do it in a dark room.
  • If you have children at home, implement QT for everyone, regardless of their age. I prefer to have everyone go to their rooms after lunch to play quietly while I lay down on my bed in the dark.
  • Plan to go for a quiet walk before everyone else gets up or after everyone goes to bed.

Here are a few go-to ideas when you need a quick QT emotional reboot:

  • Go to the bathroom and lock the door for a few minutes.
  • Close the curtains and turn off the light in your office with a “Do not disturb” sign for 5 minutes.
  • Use noise cancelling earplugs or earphones and use them in a noisy, chaotic environment when you don’t need to engage fully.
  • Place a wall between yourself and others. Take your work to another room.
  • Ask a friend to trade playdates with your kids or have a babysitter come entertain your kids for a couple of hours while you rest or go for a walk.

Reboot for Greater Impact


Caring leaders want to be there for their teams. Moms want to be there for their families. Teachers want to be there for their students. But for the person who truly cares, there is a heavy weight of responsibility with each of these relationships. You will be more prepared to meet the needs of those around you if you unplug from them on a regular basis.

If you feel like it’s impossible to accomplish, don’t give up. Employ your creativity and honestly state your needs to the people around you.

How do you reboot emotionally? What suggestions do you have for other empathetic leaders?

If you’re looking for someone to help your hurting team unify and restore to health so you can make a bigger impact together, I’m here to help. CLICK HERE to schedule a no-obligation, 20 minute complementary Voice of Influence Needs Discovery call.