I’m incredibly excited to introduce you to Rosanne Moore. Rosanne is my Communication Strategist and the producer of this podcast. Basically, she’s my right-hand woman.

Rosanne and I first met in 2012 and, while she did edit my book, UNFROZEN: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You, she’s been officially part of my business since February 2019 and I’m so grateful for her. Not only has she been a joy to work with, but she’s also been my lifeline.

In this episode, we discuss how I knew Rosanne would be a good fit for my team, the time she called me out when I wasn’t owning my voice, how the movie Frozen inspired my book, how editing my book helped her process the ending of her marriage, the four conflicting voices she discovered in my book during the editing process, the difference between teaching a body of knowledge and teaching something you embody, the difference between being a helper and being a guide, and more!

Mentioned in this episode:

• My Book | UNFROZEN: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You
• Dr. Larry Crabb’s NextStep School of Spiritual Direction
• Contact Me

Play here (the red triangle below), on iTunes, Stitcher or TuneIn Radio (Amazon Alexa) or wherever you listen to podcasts.

 

Transcript

Hey, hey! It’s Andrea, and welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast. It is really my joy to have with me today Rosanne Moore. Rosanne is actually in our business. She is our podcast producer. She helps coordinate logistics for the podcast, and she helps with a number of other things, strategy to communication – communication strategist, I like to call her. But Rosanne is really my right-hand woman right now, so I’m really grateful for Rosanne. She’s been a part of the business since February, I believe it is, in 2019, and just has been such a joy for me to have and not just a joy, but, like a lifeline. It’s been really helpful, and I’m thrilled to introduce to you Rosanne Moore.

Andrea: Rosanne, welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast!

Rosanne: Thank you. This is an exciting opportunity and I have loved this year working with you.

Andrea: Awesome! Yes, yes, it’s been fun. It’s like, you know, when you get to do things with your friends and you know that it’s meaningful. How does it get better than that?

Rosanne: Right. And I love the fact that you really practice what you preach in terms of how you set up your teams. And so it’s fun working with you and knowing that we really are a team and that what I’m doing is making a difference.

Andrea: Absolutely.

Rosanne: So, it’s always a good thing for a job.

Andrea: Definitely. And I think one of the important pieces of that is just, first of all, the level of respect that I have for you. I think we have to start with that.  When you’re building a team, if you’re wanting to have everybody have a voice of influence, you want to have some respect for the people that are working in the team. And so for me, one of the ways that I knew that we would be a good fit was that you were the editor for my book Unfrozen.

Rosanne: Right.

Andrea: And the way that we knew that that would work…Well, shoot, let’s just take them back, shall we?

Rosanne: I was thinking the same thing.

Andrea: So, backtracking, step-by-step. So, we met in, I believe it was 2012 at Larry Crab’s School of Spiritual Direction, NextStep. He has this School of Spiritual Direction, two different levels. We’d both previously been to the first week individually, and then we were at the same one at the same time in 2012 for the NextStep, and that’s where I met Rosanne.

Rosanne: Yes. And I’ve done more than one of his schools, and that week in particular, our group, just kind of… a core part of us just stayed together and extended the relationship well beyond that week. And so when you approached me a few years later about the book, we had been in touch enough and had shared life enough that it was really exciting to me. We had so much in common.

Andrea: Yeah. Yeah, we stayed in touch. I remember, Rosanne, that was a really hard week for me, and I’m bringing us back to that because I do actually talk about it in the book. And it was a hard week for me because I had been depressed for a couple of years since having our son. So, he was still just two, and our daughter was four, or approximately those ages. And I went to NextStep thinking, “What am I supposed to…sort of, what’s my next step? Who in the world am I? What am I supposed to do with this person that I am?” I was in personal turmoil, for sure. And I know you had plenty going on in your life as well.

Rosanne: Right. I was in the midst of a marriage that was coming to a close, and that week was struggling with, “Is there any way to salvage this?” And so, yes, I was very much in transition at that point as well. And, yeah, different circumstances for both of us, but I think we were asking a lot of the same questions.

Andrea: Yes, yes. And I remember that we had a conversation in which…it was, like, at the dinner table.

Rosanne: Uh-huh.

Andrea: I don’t know if you remember this, but I remember I got on fire about something, and I can get on fire. I don’t always do that in front of people, but because sometimes I get too fiery, you know, or too icy, if you will, which we’ll get to in a second. But, anyway, I was on fire about something, and I think it had to do with women and their voice in the church.

Rosanne: Yeah.

Andrea: And I knew that I was really struggling and didn’t know what to talk about it. I didn’t really want to sort of be known for questioning that.

Rosanne: Right.

Andrea: And we got into the room with Larry Crabb, and everybody’s sitting there. And then I remember you said, “Andrea had something to say about this at supper.”

Rosanne: I put you on the spot without meaning to, right?

Andrea: You called me out!

Rosanne: I so related to what you said, and I thought you articulated it so well, so clearly. And then the questions that you were bringing up, the battle that you were wrestling with was one that so many women in particular wrestle with. And the whole thing of, “How do I juggle it all” and “Who do I really want to be, apart from all the stereotypes of what I ‘should’ be as a good woman”, and all of that. And you just articulated that so well. That is why I wanted more discussion on it and then, yeah, I put you on the spot without meaning to.

Andrea: It was good for me. It was good for me, for sure, because there were a lot of times that I hold back because I know I have something fiery inside, and, quite frankly, I am afraid of it.

Rosanne: Yeah, yeah.

Andrea: I’m afraid of that passion and that energy because, what if I’m wrong, number one. What if I hurt somebody, number two, and what if I alienate myself, number three. So, for me, to be in that environment where I needed to go ahead and step out, and say what I needed to say because you felt like it resonated… I feel like that is such an interesting picture of the way that our relationship has progressed, Rosanne, and how we believe that God has been putting us together, and using us and the way that we move in the world now, yeah.

Rosanne: Yeah. I remember the concern at the time, because you were concerned that it was going to come on too strong, and Larry’s response initially was kind of, “Well, don’t be about your own voice just for your own voice’s sake, about ‘being heard.’” And what I said at the time was – what resonated with me was – I didn’t feel a selfish, self-directed element to what you had shared. It really was about, “How do I show up and be the woman that God has called me to be? How do I bring to the world what I’m called to do?” Not in a, like, demanding “here I am” sort of way, but not being afraid, like you said, of being present, and showing up, and offering as a gift whatever it is that God has put in our hearts. And that was what I so strongly resonated with and still do.

Andrea: That’s awesome! So, yeah, so fast forward a couple of years, I needed help. I remember I had a blog post… an article that I was writing for an, I don’t know, what do you call them, an online magazine, I guess. And I needed some editing help. So, you helped me with that, and then I realized your capabilities in that area, which then led to me asking you to be the editor of Unfrozen when it was time.

So, let’s talk for a minute. When this episode comes out, it’s interesting because Frozen II will have just come out. So we are actually recording before I’ve even seen that movie, before I’ve seen Frozen II, and the sort of impetus for Unfrozen and the title for the book, the reason why I started writing it in the first place had to do with the movie Frozen. So, the reason why it matters is that when I initially saw that movie Frozen, I was so struck by all the parallels that I saw between my life and Elsa’s life. And those were very conceptual.

I wasn’t literally locked away in a castle but, you know, the ideas of holding back and hiding and covering up one’s hands so that you didn’t feel everything. You know, lots of different things like that that I could relate to and then finally, in the end, the idea of offering oneself in love, not worrying about what other people thought, that was the ultimate kind of reason why I felt called to do something, to do more, whatever more meant.

Rosanne: Right, right. Yeah.

Andrea: So now we have Frozen II coming out, and I will have seen it by the time this comes out, I can tell you that. But we don’t know yet what the whole plot of the movie is. I don’t know yet how it will relate to me, or if I’ll feel like I relate to it at all or anything. But we do feel like it’s a good time to kind of bring back up some of the reasons why we put together the book Unfrozen.

Rosanne: Right. When you first approached me about it, I was excited about the idea simply because I like writing, and I like editing, and I’ve worked as a reading instruction specialist, so I love getting children hooked on reading, children who have struggled with reading. I love seeing the lights come on and have them enjoy reading. So anything bookish, I like. So it was an exciting project from the beginning when you approached me about that. But when I got into the content of where you were going as we talked through it, because when you first presented kind of your first “brain-dump” on paper, there were a whole lot of things you wanted to say, and you weren’t quite sure which pieces fit, and which didn’t, and what you wanted to do with it.

But when that happened, when I read where you were coming from, I got really excited because I’ve spent most of my life in the South in conservative circles where female roles felt very, very prescribed and very narrow. And I thought maybe it was just a cultural thing, but you were from the Midwest and here you were asking very similar questions. You were struggling with very similar dynamics, in terms of what was okay and what wasn’t okay, and “You might be overpowering if…” and “Too much if…”, and all of that.

And so it helped me not only think through messages that I had received because I was very much in the process of sifting through the impact of all of that on my marriage and the loss of my marriage and questioning. I happened to have been in an abusive situation and so there were a lot of accusations that were being thrown. So, working on the book with you actually helped me sift through what’s true, what’s not true, what’s mine, what’s not mine. And what does God have to say about all of this? That was the anchor, and then how do I share that with my daughter, who at the time was 13. So, it was a privilege to go through that process with you.

Andrea:   You know, it’s interesting that the process of finding my voice, if you will, you helping me find my voice because I think that, as you mentioned, I had so many different things that I was wanting to say and that was really plaguing me. I mean, it was this dark, dark cloud around me feeling like there were too many things. There was too much. Again, that theme of feeling like it was too much, I felt like I had too many things to say. I was trying to sort through them, but when you’re in your own head, it’s very difficult. It’s very difficult to do that for yourself, for anybody, especially when you’re me and you’re like a crazy person inside, your brain just going… all these things.

So, one of the things that you helped me do was to identify that. Number one, when I started writing the book, I wanted it to be like a workbook for children and their parents because I thought, how can we help kids to understand some of the connections that I had made with Elsa and sensitivity and gifting and all those things and how to use that as a way for kids to be able to open their eyes to who they are and even maybe even make an impact on parents. But, as we got going, you were telling me, “Andrea, there are like four different voices right now in your book.” So, you want to tell a little bit about that?

Rosanne: Yeah. You would give this narrative in one place and draw somebody in and they were really engaged in the story, and then you’d switch kind of to teaching mode. And then there would be kind of this like Bible study mode. I don’t remember what the fourth one… I remember there were multiple voices, and you were flipping back and forth. And so part of what you were struggling with was the many voices that you were listening to.

And what I said to you, basically what it came down to was, it’s your story. It’s your voice, your narrative that people need to hear. That’s what’s going to have the power that people will relate to.   It’s not all the things you can give them. It’s yourself, your story.

Andrea: And that right there, everybody needs to hear that.

Rosanne: Yeah.

Andrea: Everybody watching or listening to this needs to hear that because I see it so often with people who are wanting to make a difference, where they do what I tend to do, which is go into teaching mode and neglect to truly connect with the audience. And even if they do give a little piece of it, but, not that you’re giving everything but, you know, the full picture, I guess. You know, we tend to give people a taste, I guess. And so for me to go through the process of saying, “Whoa, wait a second, what is the story?” I didn’t want to be the story and still sometimes wish that I wasn’t the story.

But yet I can see, I understand now, you know, people will tell me that they got the book, and then they sat down, and they read it all in one sitting. Like, really? That’s crazy. But apparently they connected with me and my story and the way that you helped me frame it. So, I have a different perspective now I think on what I need to be, who I need to be for people in general. I don’t necessarily want to be the teacher. I mean, I’m typically, I’m like, “That is what I am. I do that. I teach.” I always thought to myself, you know, I learned so that I can teach other people. And in a lot of ways, that’s true, but I have found over and over and over again that people respond a lot better to me telling my story about how you learned something than to them, you know, listening to some training.

Rosanne: Right, sure. Yeah, and I think for all of us growing in that authenticity where we show up with ourselves – and some of us are strategic thinkers and some of us are teachers by nature – but you do have a sense of the difference between somebody who’s teaching a body of knowledge, and somebody who is teaching something that they embody. It’s different, and the dynamic is different.

Andrea: OK, go into that a little bit more. That sounds really interesting.

Rosanne: If you’re teaching a body of knowledge, it’s all out here. It’s all analytical. It’s all in your head. But if it’s something that you’ve incorporated into who you are, and so you’re teaching from a standpoint of the whole of who you are, you’re bringing yourself, you’re being present as you bring it and you’re being authentic with your audience, which is what you do very well. I think that’s very different, and it’s far more powerful. There’s an authority that goes with that that expertise by itself doesn’t command.

I think people are hungry for authentic people who show up and say, “I’ve been where you are. I can guide you because I’ve been over this terrain.” I think we’ve talked about this ourselves before. I think there’s a difference between helpers and guides. There’s a place for helpers, but guides have had to walk the terrain themselves, and they ask different questions. They listen better. They’re willing to make sacrifices that helpers don’t necessarily know to make or understand to ask, things like that. It’s different.

Andrea: So a helper – let’s just flesh that out just a little bit more – a helper does what exactly then? A guide has been through the terrain and is showing you sort of the way, what does a helper do?

Rosanne: I think helpers can provide encouragement. They can provide support. They can meet practical needs in the moment. The danger is when a helper thinks they’re a guide, and so along with their effort to give you a boost, they also try to tell you what to do. And guides don’t do that. Guides listen. Guides ask questions before they start giving advice. Guides make sure they understand what’s happening. They don’t try to fix it. They try to lead you.

Andrea:  I like that. When I first started trying to, like, nail down what it was that I do or what my calling was or how to describe myself, I remember one of the phrases that came to mind was sort of this idea of helping people navigate the deeper places in their soul. And I think that helping people navigate, guiding, is foundational for having a voice of influence the way that we talk about it, because people can lead. You can definitely lead and tell people where to go and that sort of thing, or what to do or give them the help that they need to get there.

But what does it mean to embody that voice of influence, to be the guide, to be the person helping navigate? That, to me – it’s harder to explain sometimes because a lot of times we feel we’re very practical, and we want to see practical results immediately. Whereas, what would you say, Rosanne, what would you say that a guide does and the results that end up coming from being guided versus being helped?

Rosanne: I think a guide honors the journey of the person that’s in front of them. They’re not in a hurry to ease the discomfort of it because there’s a recognition that there’s a process that that person has to go through themselves. They can have someone alongside them that can be a sounding board, but growth is very individual. Nobody can do it for you. And so a guide recognizes that there is a journey each person has to take themselves. And so they can encourage that journey, they can give you feedback on that journey, they can give direction so that you don’t get lost on that journey. But it’s not something they try to do for you.

And I think helpers – when helpers are at their best – they supply resources for the journey. They encourage you. They can give practical help, but when they step in and they try to do the journey for you or they try to rescue you from it, that’s when they do damage instead of actually help. And a guide is wise enough to know, “I can walk alongside you, but there’s a process you have to take internally that you have to be willing to show up for in order to get where you need to go.”

Andrea: I think that one way to describe the difference there would be the difference between, kind of immediate impact and transformation over a period of time.

Rosanne: Right, right.

Andrea: So, if you’re wanting to become somebody, if you’re wanting to begin to embody something, if you’re wanting to be the person that you are called to be, if you’re wanting to, you know, help your people transform into brand ambassadors, you know, that’s one of the things that we help companies do. That is a transformational process. It’s not something that’s a one-and-done like, “Here is this aid, this thing that’s going to help you.” It’s a transformational thing that comes from the inside, and it grows out which is, you know, a concept that I think is just incredibly important to remember.

Rosanne: Yeah. It’s the difference between a quick boost –  that gives energy in the moment that’s going to fade – and strength building. You may be able to do something to give you a burst of energy, but it’s not the same as training over time, putting in the time, putting in the effort.

Andrea: Eating the right foods.

Rosanne: Exactly, all of that process. Anything worth building requires time. It just does. Growth is a process that requires perseverance – genuine growth, anyway.

Andrea: Yeah, yeah.   Well, our time is about up, Rosanne. I wanted to real quickly reiterate that if anybody is interested in the book that I am the author of, and Rosanne is the editor, it’s Unfrozen: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You. You can find information about that on our website, voiceofinfluence.net. We also do work with people. We work with companies to help them turn their people into brand ambassadors, to help people connect with the meaning and purpose of the company, the strategic vision and mission of the company in order to sort of activate them as a person who is going to go out and do their best for their company.

When you invest in people, they realize that you care. My mom would always use the quote, and I don’t know who exactly said it originally. I’ve heard Roosevelt, I’ve heard various people saying it originally, but, “They don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” And this is the truth. I’ve seen it over and over and over again. My mom said it, so you should believe it. And the fact of the matter is that when you invest in people, when you show them how to own their own voice and to find it, to own it, to embrace who they are, to release who they are so that they can use it for all over their lives, especially in your company, they’re going to give your customers better service. They’re going to provide more insight to you as a business owner, as a manager.

You know, people appreciate being invested in and that is what we do. We will help you make sure that your team is truly connected to the vision and mission of your company, that they have a voice of influence with the customers and within your company. So we would love to talk to you about that at some point. Go ahead and, you know, on our website there’s a contact form, fill that thing out and we’ll connect. We’d love to be able to have a conversation.

Rosanne: Absolutely.

Andrea: Rosanne, is there anything that you want to leave with the audience today?

Rosanne: I was just thinking, you know, in terms of how much creativity is released when people know that it’s safe to go there, you know, to not simply show up and check the boxes. But that when they actually have a voice, then creativity begins to flow. Creativity they didn’t even necessarily, perhaps, know that they had. If you want to build a company that’s long-term going to be financially stable and really matters – it does something that really matters – then you want to build a team that works together well, and takes care of one another, and takes care of your customers as well so that there’s loyalty, and we can help you do that.

Andrea: That’s right. And I guarantee you that our team will give our best for yours.

Rosanne: Absolutely!

Andrea: So, I’m very proud of the team that we have and as it continues to grow, as our client base continues to grow, it’s a special thing to be a part of. And so thank you, Rosanne, for being with me today. I look forward to having more conversations with you on the Voice of Influence podcast here in the future.

Rosanne: Absolutely!

Andrea: All right, everybody. Come on over to voiceofinfluence.net and hit that “Let’s Talk” button. We’d love to schedule a conversation. All right, we’ll see you soon.