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What do you do when you’re stuck on a project?
My Communications Specialist, Rosanne Moore, is on the show to help me explain the steps that are needed to make a project a reality; especially when you’re feeling stuck.
In this episode, we discuss the common reason we get stuck on projects, the importance of understanding why your voice matter before trying to break through the barrier of being stuck when trying to share your voice, an example of how I recently felt stuck while creating a free gift for you and the method I used to help me break through that feeling of being stuck, and more!
Ten Questions to Ask Yourself to Help You Get Unstuck:
- What is the name of the project you want to complete?
- What is on the to-do list for the project?
- What am I afraid of right now?
- Why does this project matter for me and for other people?
- What do I need to learn or get better at doing in order to complete the project?
- If I complete this project and it fails, what will happen?
- If I complete this project and it succeeds, what will happen?
- What am I doing to distract myself?
- What am I running from?
- What is the next step I need to take?
Take a listen to the episode!
Mentioned in this episode:
- Voice of Influence Podcast | Episode 131: Getting Published as a Subject Matter Expert with Chad R. Allen
- Andrea Joy Wenburg’s Book | Unfrozen: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You
Free Training to Improve the Efficiency of Your Voice
People generally don’t enjoy giving or receiving feedback, which leads to poor results as well as confusion, frustration, and resentment. Feedback conversations don’t have to feel confrontational or be unproductive. This training will help you be clear, calm, and get great results for you and the person on the other side of the table. [Click here] to transform your feedback method in less than 30 minutes!
Transcript
People of influence know that their voice matters, and they work to make it matter more. I’m Andrea Wenburg, and this is the Voice of Influence podcast.
Last week, we had Chad Allen on the podcast, and he talked about what it’s like to write a book and create a book proposal. He’s particularly good at helping people create a book proposal that gets them published. And I’ve been having this conversation with some friends, recently, and colleagues, who are interested in writing a book but they feel just completely overwhelmed. They feel stuck where they are. Maybe they have some idea in their head about what a book would be. They know what the title would be, but they get stuck when it comes to actually writing the book. Maybe they work for a while and then they go back and edit and then they edit again and then they edit again.
And instead of actually getting out their first draft, which is kind of what you have to do when you’re going to write a book, and then you take that draft and you start to rework it. Instead, they get so caught up in the process of how messy it is that they’re trying to clean it up as they go. And really you can’t, you can’t clean up all projects right as you go.
But truth is that whether it’s writing a book or any other kind of creative project or even analytical projects, something that you feel stuck on, you know, if you’re at a point where you feel stuck up, most likely you’ve gone to the process where you start at the beginning and you are so excited. You’ve got some clarity – maybe you know the title of the book. You have a sense of what you want to say and you’re like “OK, this is what I wanna do.” “I’m gonna do this.” “I’m gonna write this book.” And then you start and it just comes out really messy and you go back and you edit.
And then you go back and you edit some more and pretty soon, you realize that its’ been three weeks and you’re only on paragraph six. It is so frustrating to have something that you know you want to contribute in life. You want to contribute to others but you’re not able to get it out because you feel stuck.
Well, today, Rosanne and I are going to have a little conversation about how I have learned to get past that moment of resistance, that feeling of complete overwhelm where you’re just get paralyzed and you don’t know how to move forward. So that you can actually get a project complete, get it into the world, get it to somebody else’s hand, get it complete for your house, for your home, for your life and the difference that that can make for you. Just think about the difference that would make for you if you actually got your projects complete. Getting past that overwhelm requires in emphasis on mindset, on strategy, on your skills, and then execution – just getting it done.
Today, with my conversation with Rosanne, I want to share an example of when this has happened to me recently and how I kind of got past it. Thankfully, I’m done with the project now. But it was really, really hard for a while and probably a good two weeks; I was stuck on my projects. And then finally, I took the time to do some reflection and I’m going to share with you what questions I actually ask myself and how I did this reflection so that I can move forward. You can find this reflection questions in our show notes at voiceofinfluence.net.
Now, here’s my conversation with Rosanne Moore:
What do you do when you get stuck on a project? Hi, this is Rosanne Moore, Communication Specialist at Voice of Influence. And today, Andrea and I are going to talk about the steps that are needed to make a project to reality, especially when you’re feeling stuck.
So, Andrea, what is the problem that we ran into that has this feeling stuck?
Andrea: Well, I don’t know about you, Rosanne, but for me, I get overwhelmed when I come up to a project and I’m feeling stuck. I know that that is what I’m feeling. I’m feeling overwhelmed, because sometimes I don’t really know if, you know, do I have what it takes? Do I even know what to do or how to get to the end of this project? Does that resonate with you?
Rosanne: Absolutely. And a lot of times if I’m not able to figure out quickly then I just get pressured and I pushed it aside because I feel like I’m not going to do it well anyway.
Andrea: Yeah, because we wanted to be really good. I mean, if we’re going to put a contribution of some kind, make some sort of contribution to the world, whether that’d be a book or it may be like, you know, I’m working on this free mini-course for our listeners. I have been working on that. Even just for a kid maybe it’s homework or, you know, if you’re still in school, maybe it’s homework. Sometimes, those things just feel so big that they’re overwhelming and we’re not sure exactly what to do with it.
Rosanne: Yes. I can think of a conversation I had with my children this week with a weren’t something done. And when we got to the bottom of why, it was “Because I don’t I’m gonna get an A.” And my point was, “Just get started.” I’m like, “Forget the A; just get started.”
Andrea: Yes. Yeah, I think that that’s one of the biggest things that some of us struggle with is we really want what we’re doing to be good, or we want it to be successful. But we get too stuck on that that we think that we can’t make it so and we give up like you said before. Yeah, it’s a real problem because, you know, if you’re listening to this as a voice of influence, you know that what you have to share makes a difference and it could mean something really important for somebody else.
Even if your project is to Marie Kondo your home, you don’t Marie Kondo your home all in one time. And that’s a reference too just this idea of pulling out all the things that don’t carry meaning and you don’t want to carry with you until the next phase of your life and things like these. I mean, it could be a really big project. You go through, not just room by room, to do that, you go through drawer by drawer; otherwise, it just feels completely overwhelming. So, whatever the project is, I think that it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.
Rosanne: Yeah, I think, whether, it’s something that’s household or work or school or anything that matters to us, we’re juggling so much that it is easy just to feel like life is overwhelming if we don’t immediately know what to do.
Andrea: And, you know, especially with creative projects, like writing a book.
Rosanne: Yes, yes.
Andrea: Even starting a blog or if you’re an entrepreneur, trying to figure out how to get everything off the ground, launch something.
Rosanne: Right. Or relationally, if you’re doing a project with a team and you’re not sure how to approach it in a way that’s going to be smooth, peaceful or whatever, it’s easy to get stuck there as well.
Andrea: Sure, and a lot of times we’ve seen leaders want to give up and not even bother going there with their teams when that’s just project because there’s so much that you have to offer. Your experience, your wisdom is so valuable and important to other people. And the urge that you have inside to want to complete some sort of project – there’s a reason for that. And a lot of times, it’s this resistance that we feel on the front end of things that keeps us, you know, a feeling overwhelmed and stuck. But if we can breakthrough that overwhelm and sense of resistance then we can move to the place where we’re actually getting our wisdom into the world. We’re getting that project completed so that our life will be better in some way.
Rosanne: Well, you’ve written a book and you have your own business and you work constantly with leaders who are trying to build better teams. Can you give me an example of how this has played out for you at that time when you felt overwhelmed or you didn’t know where to begin on a project?
Andrea: Yes, absolutely. And I have an actual example I want to share, but I want to also let you know that when I first, oh gosh I would say, it’s probably six or seven years ago, I was super frustrated in life because I felt like I had all of these like really good things in my head. Experiences and expertise and examples and things that I could use that I knew could turn into a message and could make a difference for others, but it all felt stuck in my head. And so it took me a lot to get over that at the very beginning and to breakthrough and be able to get to the point where I was actually putting things out into the world.
So, I want to start with that that if you are somebody who you feel like it is so overwhelming and maybe it’s a big piece of your existence right now, we’re going to talk today about breaking things down into smaller stuff to help you get past this initial kind of “Oh my goodness, this is too much, I still really want to do it though.” But I would say too, Rosanne, that, yes, I have an example of how this has played out in my life just like recently.
Rosanne: One of the things when we were talking about this as we were prepping for this episode that you said that I thought was really important was thinking in terms of how you would be different if you tap into the things that is swirling within you basically but it’s not being released right now. You talked about recognizing that you have something to offer and not letting go of that even though you feel overwhelmed about how to put it out there right now.
Andrea: Hmm. I think that’s one of the most important things to hold on to at the very beginning when you have decided that “Yes, I feel overwhelmed but I want to break through this.” It’s to start with why does this matter. You know, why does this matter that I put this out to the world? Why does this matter that I complete this project? How does this going to impact others? How does this going to impact myself and my business or my relationships? Being really clear about, essentially, your why is incredibly important at the very outset, because if you don’t have a clear reason why then you’re not going to have the courage and determination that it takes to breakthrough.
Rosanne: So, give me an example. You said, you have something recently that you had to deal with and have a breakthrough on, what was it?
Andrea: Yes. OK, so, we have been trying to put this Feedback Method course together. And what I’m talking about right now is this mini-course that is about 15-20 minutes long, just a few like three videos and we thought, “You know, this would be great things for the audience.” “Anybody in our audience could use it whether it’s because you know somebody saw me speak at a conference or hearing this on the podcast or coming to our website, they would really be able to get a lot of value out of how to give feedback.”
Rosanne: And part of the reason this is important is this is your contribution, right? A lot of people struggle with this. But this is something that you don’t struggle with. This is something that you’re not afraid of facing or going into. And so, you have something to say about this that can really be a value.
Andrea: Exactly, exactly. So, we decided like, “Let’s do this. Let this be our free gift to our audience.” And so, I was really excited about getting going on this and it was really easy for me. That was an easy part. The very beginning was really easy. I can get out the outline. I can figure out what the basic concepts are that I’m wanting to share with everybody else. But what became overwhelming is when I had to actually put it into words and I had to put it into pictures and I had to think all the logistics. And all of a sudden, I just felt like “How am I gonna get out _____with this?” “This is really, really tough.”
Rosanne: So, you really had to move from the creative vision to actually putting feet on it.
Andrea: Exactly.
Rosanne: How did you get through that process?
Andrea: So I have this little method that I use to help me breakthrough when I feel overwhelmed like this and I’d love to just share it. I think I’ll just take you through the process. Does that sound OK?
Rosanne: That sounds great.
Andrea: All right.
Rosanne: Because you got it done. Let’s just say that.
Andrea: That’s right. We got it done.
Rosanne: She knows what she’s talking about.
Andrea: That’s right. You definitely helped to do this. So, this is what I’d like to share with you and you can find this information actually on our website on the show notes. We’re just going to give you the list of questions that you can ask yourself. But what I’d like to encourage you to do is to use your journal. When you’re feeling overwhelmed like this, you know that you’re stuck, you feel that you can’t really, or even the progress that you’re trying to make isn’t getting you anywhere and you’re speeding your wheels that sort of thing.
So, the very first question on your sort of list is your project. What is the project? Just identify the project, use words. Rosanne, can you explain why it’s so important that we actually use words to describe what we’re experiencing?
Rosanne: Well, I think naming things is an important step in knowing what the creative idea means and how it matters. A lot of times, creative people can get very locked in their own minds. I think we all do that, right? And I think you’re right, I think putting words to things, naming them, and putting them on paper is an important part of unraveling the idea and making it something that’s actually viable.
Andrea: Hmm, yes. And even if you’re more analytical person than creative – I think people who tend to really analyze things can get stuck in a cycle of analysis and then the whole analysis or paralysis by analysis or whatever that’s called, they can do the same thing. So, what we’re laying out for you is just writing it down and actually setting these things for yourself will be helpful.
So, number one would be the project – just name the project. OK, so my project was the Feedback Method course. It’s this course that’s going to help people to demystify the process of how to get feedback. So, I had to think through this. I’ll make it easier for them and that sort of thing. So, the project is “What is on the to-do list?” What are the actual tasks that I need to do? So, for me, I had written down here I needed to write a script. I already made an outline. I already knew kind of what I was trying to say, but I was at this point now where I needed to write an actual script. That’s hard to do – to make slides, to record it, to create a worksheet, to upload it to the learning center and that sort of thing.
So, I had this then to-do list. It’s really important to be clear about – these are the actual steps that are coming that I’m going to need to take.
Rosanne: That’s great. So, once you got that clarity about that, what’s next?
Andrea: Well, I’ve noticed that for me a lot of times the reason why I’m resisting and feeling overwhelmed is the sense of fear. So, my question is what am I afraid of right now? And the things that I listed, I was worried that it wouldn’t be good enough. That it wouldn’t be high quality. That was one of my fears. Another fear was that I would be disappointed with the results. Then another fear that I had was that I wouldn’t complete the project, that I wouldn’t actually meet the deadline, like I was afraid of not getting it done – which was keeping me from keeping it done.
Rosanne: Yeah. And it so often like that, isn’t it? We tend to approach things like this logically. It’s as if we think if we tell ourselves what’s actually true that would change behavior, but not necessarily because what you’re putting out there is people are passionate. Were not just motivated by what is actually accurate. There are other things that are going on beneath the surface in our own hearts that can actually be holding as back and we’re not even necessarily aware of it. So, what your suggesting is that we need to get in touch with that.
Andrea: Yeah. And that what’s we kind of, you know, have dubbed the term “human dynamics.” I mean, that’s one of the pieces of the human dynamics that we help people with is to kind of understand what is going on – what is going underneath the surface. So, that fear then is really important to identify. And then the next piece of it was to ask myself “Why does this project matter?” Like you and I talked about before, Rosanne, we have to know why something matters and our why, you know, in order to get through it.
Rosanne: Yeah, because if you don’t have a vision then with every obstacle you face, you become less motivated to go back to it.
Andrea: Sure. So, I will ask myself, you know, why does this matter to other people and why does this matter to me? Why does this matter to our company? So, for others, I knew that it would matter for them because it would make the process of giving really good feedback, less intimidating. It would demystify that process. It would help people get over the overwhelm of giving feedback because a lot of time we’re afraid of having to have a confrontational conversation, either because we’re worried about the tension and the relationship or maybe we’re worried about how the other person will respond – what might happen afterwards. And there are all these things that kind of overwhelm us. And I knew that if I can just let this out, people will be able to handle those things that will alleviate their fears. And that could make a difference for a lot of things.
Rosanne: Sure. Absolutely! Yeah, because if there’s one thing we constantly have to do is deal with other people in a way that’s going to be productive – and healthy and avoiding hard conversations is not going to help with that.
Andrea: Right. Right, so we’re talking about decreasing stress and maybe help retaining employees and clients. Perhaps helping employees be happier, improving their jobs, move up. Sometimes, we have to give feedback to people who, you know, maybe it’s giving feedback to your superiors, somebody that’s, you know, your manager or something like that. And it’s important that we’re not afraid of those conversations because we need to help make each other better. We need to make our environment better so that we can do better work.
Rosanne: And if people don’t have a good plan for doing that then they tend not to do it and then growth opportunity _____.
Andrea: Right. Yep, and it’s the same thing with what we’re talking about right now with this, you know, being overwhelmed about a project. If you can go through this process, I really think that you’re going to be able to actually complete the project. So, it’s so important.
Rosanne: So, then what’s next?
Andrea: Yeah. I mean, the other piece of that is why does it matter to our company? Why does it matter to Voice of Influence that we put this out there? We know we want to do good for the world but why does it matter for us too? And for us, it has to do with growing our platform and finding out who’s really interested in what we have to share and validating our message in what we’re doing. It helps us to know that we’re on the right track.
Rosanne: Right. Right, because great ideas in isolation are not helping anybody. So, if it’s not making a difference for people then we want to know why so we can hone that message better.
Andrea: Yeah. So, here we are, we’re about halfway through this whole thing. We’re looking at – we need to know the projects. What’s on the to-do list? What are we afraid of? Why does this project matter for me? Why does it matter for other people? And then what do I really need to learn or get better at doing in order to accomplish this? Is there something, you know, we go back to that to-do list? Or is there anything on that to-do list that might be a skill that you need to grow in and learn about – research that you need to do or something like that. That’s also important to tackle – so our mindset and our strategy and/or skills.
Rosanne: And some of these skills are things, like you said, we need to learn how to grow in. But others might be things that we might need to hire out instead. I know a lot of the teams that you work with, part of the reason they have you come on board is because you offer another set of eyes and another perspective that they can’t just manufacture themselves. And so, when you work with a team and the _____ taking place, you’re bringing another skill set that they don’t have themselves and that’s OK because you’re able to offer that.
Andrea: Right. And it’s really hard to take your own messaging and clarify it more. It’s hard to take your relationships and identify what’s really going on. It’s hard to do those things for yourself when you’re kind of in the middle of it.
Rosanne: Sure.
Andrea: And so to have somebody else come in and be able to take a different perspective is important. You know, if you’re in the book writing, like last week we had Chad Allen on the podcast and he was talking about doing a book proposal. Well, I can tell you that I’m definitely going to Chad when I need help with the book proposal because he knows so much more about it than I do. And, you know, when I was writing my book, I called on you because I needed help being able to see what of my message that I’m trying to share is resonating and what makes sense and what doesn’t.
So, having that other perspective is important. But then sometimes just having somebody else to do something that you’re not good at doing, whether that’d be social media or somebody else to do, you know, the financial books or…
Rosanne: Technical skills.
Andrea: Technical skills. Sure, and stuff like that.
Rosanne: OK, so then that brings us to the final phase, right? Getting it done.
Andrea: Nope. OK, if the project fails – that’s the next question on my list. If the project fails, what’s going to happen, because a lot of times, you know, like I said, one of the big fears with my particular project was that if it fails – that’s one of my actual fears is that I would fail and so I can’t even move forward. But the real question is if I get it done and it fails then what will happen? And I needed to be very clear about this so that I understood that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if my project fails.
So, for me, the answer was, “Well, you know, I’m gonna be disappointed and I’m gonna have to try something else.” “I’m gonna have to come back to it.” And then the question is if it succeeds, what will happen? What is that vision, again, not just why does it matter but what will actually happen if it succeeds? And for me that answer had to do with being successful as a company, someday selling books and getting a book contract and things like that. So, understanding how when it fails or succeed, what that will look like. That’s super important.
Rosanne: And that’s valuable, isn’t, it to realize, to be connected what success means that it matters, that I take the steps that I take. And also to not make failure kind of sum zero, but then it’s part of the process of growth. So, if something doesn’t work out the way that we hope, it’s still material for later success – we can learn from it.
Andrea: Hmm, totally. OK, so then after that I really started to look at “Well, you know what I’m distracted.” “What am I doing to distract myself right now?” And I thought about that, “What am I doing to distract myself right now?” And I thought about that I was like “You know, sometimes I’m getting involved in the news.” “I’m overindulging in watching news programs or trying to understand different things that maybe in isn’t going to be that very helpful for me.”
Another thing that I was snoozing is playing a game on my phone to distract myself. I’m like “Why am doing this?” But I think it’s really important that we recognize that there’s a difference between just sort of relaxing and doing your normal life and then using something as a distraction.
Rosanne: And you have to ask yourself when you catch yourself doing that why – maybe that goes back to the fears again. You might want to reassess what am I afraid of that I’m avoiding.
Andrea: Totally, it could be that. And you know the next thing on the list is actually, what am I running from? What emotions am I running from? What situation am I running from? Yes, of course, there’s always the project that you’re working on. But for me, it was deeper than that. It went out further than that. For example, my daughter is turning 13 soon and I thought “Oh my goodness, I am kind of getting freak out by this milestone in her life.” Like, how will she change? How will I change? How will our relationship change? We’ll we have time with her in the next few years? All those things started flooding me, and I realize that that’s one of the issues that I’m dealing with though there isn’t direct correlation to my project – it’s impacting my project.
Rosanne: That’s a good point.
Andrea: So, then issue become “OK, now, I’m kind of thought through all these things, I have an idea of what’s going on inside of me. I have an idea of the things that I need to do. The question is – what is the actual next step that I need to take? What am I going to commit to doing next?
Rosanne: And how did you answer that?
Andrea: Well, I answered that, number one, by actually going through this process of reflecting. So, I thought “OK, there we go, that’s one checkmark on my list.” I went through the process of reflecting through this overwhelm and that’s one checkmark on my list. And then what’s next? I had to buckle down and just say, “I need more time to write that script than I thought I would and give myself the permission to do that.” So, that was my next step.
Rosanne: OK, so you’re making progress on your checklist and then what else is a part of that?
Andrea: Well, I think that the checklist itself is so important because, you know, used to tell me when I get overwhelmed. She would tell me, “Andrea, you need to write all of the things down that you need to do. Make your task list and then start actually making those physical check marks next to your list.” At first, I thought that was kind of like sillier beneath me for some reason because it just seems trivial. But then when I started to do it, when I actually got really overwhelmed with things and I actually started using a checklist and started to see those checks go, I started to realize what I’ve learned about the brain which is that the brain is that that affirmation – the actual physical visual that you have succeeded.
So, the checkmark is a nice reminder that you’ve succeeded, but so is a reward. So, if you can give yourself a reward for taking that next step, go for it – whether it’d be ice cream or, you know, a new pair of socks, or whatever it might _____ be for you.
Rosanne: A walk in the park.
Andrea: A walk in the park.
Rosanne: Yeah, so the checklist isn’t simply keeping you organized; it’s also a method of celebrating your success, isn’t it?
Andrea: Absolutely, absolutely!
Rosanne: I will admit to being one of these people who adds things to my list. If I have to do something extra that wasn’t on the list, I’ll put it on the list just so I can check it off and reward myself for getting it done.
Andrea: Boom!
Rosanne: _____
Andrea: Yeah, exactly. And the great news is that this project is complete. So, I’m thrilled because now I can say that we have something to offer the world and it can do all the things that it was designed to do.
Rosanne: So, if you’re wanting to avoid failure in terms of having ideas locked up and having this wisdom that can’t be accessed for the world and feeling chaotic and paralyzed – maybe having other people frustrated with you because you’re shut down and you’re not getting done what you need to get done. Or your company, you’re personally experiencing financial loss because you’re not accomplishing what needs to be done. If you want to avoid that and want instead to have more clarity and to make a difference, to have less stress and more motivation for the things that you know are important then go to voiceofinfluence.net and look at the course that Andrea has just finished putting together, specifically the Voice of Influence Feedback Method. It’s a free course there. And look at the show notes – we’ve got the questions that she talked about working through because they’re all right there for you.
Andrea: Absolutely! So, yeah, if you’re just looking at “I need to finish a project,” just go to the show notes. Go through this little method that will help you to break through your moment of paralysis. You can do this. But if you’re thinking to yourself, you know, that feedback is really an issue for me, we would love to have you partake in the course. It is free, so we really encourage you to participate in that and we’d love to hear about it too if you do.
I mean, really life – it doesn’t have to feel like life is happening to you. It doesn’t have to feel like your gifts, like your expertise, your wisdom is going to waste. You can show grit. You can get your contribution into the world. You can get your wisdom into the hearts of the people who work with you or who you have relationships with. It really has to do with getting over this sense of overwhelm on a project and moving forward and doing it all in love too. So, we’re really glad that you’re with us today.
Rosanne: Thanks so much, Andrea, for sharing these thoughts.