She was upset. Really upset.
I was calm. This time, I was calm.
Earlier that day I determined to start a heatwave to offer Warmth for Cold Hearts around me and so I was focused and ready for this little tantrum. This was one cold heart that I’d been concerned about for a while. And the tantrum was an opportunity to warm it up.
What are you upset about, sweetheart? What has made you so sad that you feel you have to yell at me? I can’t stay in the room while you are yelling, but when you’re ready to talk about what you’re sad about, let me know.
After a few minutes she was ready. There were tears. And indeed, she was really and understandably tangled up inside. The conversation went on for quite a while – way past my usual “I have to leave the room at 8:00” time. I didn’t get the laundry put away that night (OK…the laundry still isn’t put away three days later!) but I’ll tell you what DID get done. Thaw. The cold hard heart before me warmed quite a bit after I explained why people speak harshly (because they’re actually sad or hurting) and why some people are sad and hurting a lot (because they think they need to do something or be something to be more valuable).
“Why can’t you just tell them that?” she asked.
Through my many, many tears and while she gently rubbed my back I said:
I can try to live it. And I can write and teach about it. But I can’t promise that anyone will take what I say and apply it to themselves. So we pray and we treat people with respect and love even when they are harsh with us.* We see tears where there are harsh words or actions and we remember there is sad or pain under that anger. We offer Love whether it is accepted or not.
Friends, I ask you: How might this apply to you?
- Is there a sweet heart that is longing for you to hear that you can cry in front of them instead of treat them harshly?
- Does some sweet heart feel torn and anxious when you worry about how much you are worth to the world – to them?
- Who is angry around you and really just needs someone to see underneath the anger – to breathe LIFE and LOVE to the deep places inside of them?
Today. Do it today. Don’t let another day go by without offering warmth to a cold heart. You might be amazed at the fire that ignites inside of you.
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*Sometimes loving and respecting someone else means we must withdraw from their presence so we do not feed their hunger to dominate and control. Just as I left the room when my sweetheart was directing her tantrum at me, sometimes we need to leave the “room” when others direct their anger toward us. I do not intend to suggest that anyone stay in an abusive situation. There may be a time to come back and listen, but sometimes we need to leave to let the other find out how sad they really are.
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